Here we go with another roundup of trailers playing at a theatre near you (in upcoming release order):
Dragonball: Evolution
I don’t know squat about Dragonball, except it’s some kind of Japanimation thing. I don’t think I’ll ever know anything about Dragonball. I don’t think I’ll be missing anything. You won’t either if you don’t ever see this trailer. It’s chock full o’ lame. I will be shocked if this finds any kind of audience.
Hannah Montana: the Movie
I do know a surprising amount about Hannah Montana because my daughter’s a fan of the TV series. It skews a little old for her, but she likes the characters, the slapstick, and most of all the music. The trailer for the movie is ridiculously well done for what it is. I mean the story’s the kind we’ve seen a thousand times, but it’s a well packaged preview for fans of the show because it showcases all the things my daughter loves about it: characters, slapstick, and music. If I’m being uncomfortably vulnerable, I have to admit the trailer even gives my heartstring a little pluck since this movie will likely bring the Montana series to a close – and with it, my daughter’s preschool years. Sniff, sniff.
Observe and Report
Seth Rogen and his buddies have created their own new genre of movie which I think I’ll dub sewage sinema. In everyday life, I try to avoid slobby, potty-mouthed characters, so why would I pay to see them in a movie? And it’s not just the content that looks sewage-y, the whole production looks bleak. How ‘bout a little cinematography? Hopefully one of these days the Rogen gang will figure out they can still be hilarious without all the nasty (Bill Cosby anyone? Heck, even Adam Sandler in Bedtime Stories!). This is Mall Cop meets Pineapple Express. BTW, kinda weird how many similar scenes this trailer shares with Mall Cop.
Crank: High Voltage
Just thinking about this choppy, messy, pass-the-Ritalin trailer gives me a headache. I hope I never see it again. A ludicrous, over-the-top, gutter-dwelling mess.
Fighting
I like me a good fighting movie sometimes. I’m a Rocky and Karate Kid fan. Ahh, but there’s the catch. Those movies weren’t really about fighting! They were about relationships. Fighting, as one might surmise from the title, looks to be just about fighting. When the title came up at the end of this very weak trailer, it struck me as funny. I can just see the marketing execs going around the table on this one. It must’ve been two minutes ‘til lunch time and they still didn’t have a title. “Wait, guys, I think I got it… it’s got plenty of fighting, so we could, like, call it Fighting! With a capital F! That’ll look rad on the poster.”
Obsessed
When you have to sit through a bunch of trailers every weekend, you inevitably get lots of repeats. So, you hope the repeats are cool, snappy, funny, you know, just plain fun to watch – even if it’s for a movie you don’t really care to see. Obsessed is not one of those trailers. It’s about a crazy white woman at work who tries to steal Beyonce’s hunky hubby. Beyonce gets mad and tries to take out the crazy white woman. I think what happened was this trailer accidentally got shipped to theatres instead of the Lifetime movie channel. Will someone please help it find its way home so we don’t have to see it anymore?
The Soloist
This is a great trailer. It does what a trailer’s supposed to do: make you want to see the whole movie. It’s not easy to advertise a serious drama because you can’t fall back on any crotch-hits or other cheap laughs. This trailer just gets the mix of acting, tension, emotion, photography, and especially music right. And it does it without teetering over the edge into cheesiness. It’s based on a true story and stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx. I’m looking forward to checking it out. My slight concern about The Soloist has nothing to do with the trailer, but with its release being bumped from last fall’s awards season to late April. Sometimes that means there’s something wrong with it. Hopefully not!
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Matthew McConaughey is pretty entertaining in these romantic comedy roles. This one just looks so-so. I’m not really into the thousandth rendition of Dickens’ Christmas Carol. But then Jennifer Garner shows up and gives the movie some hope. The trailer doesn’t really indicate it, but if the movie manages some heart to balance out the goofiness, it might be okay.
Star Trek
I already mentioned the first trailer for J.J. Abrams’ version of Star Trek in the last Trailer Parking edition, but I had to mention it again because there’s a brand-new version of the trailer and it’s even better than the first! Now I’m no Trek nerd – I was always more of a Star Wars guy growing up (BTW why do we even compare the two? Just because they both have “Star” in the title?) – but I am a J.J. Abrams fan and it looks like he’s brought a pretty awesome style and energy to the Trek reboot. This trailer ditches the over-the-top car chase opening of the first trailer and ratchets up the action and drama. Drama? Is that even possible in a Star Trek flick? It just might be and that’s one of the reasons this looks so promising.
Land of the Lost
Opening scene of this trailer is one of the best of the year so far: Will Ferrell as some kind of scientist guy being interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show. Great stuff! The rest of the trailer is pretty good, though not quite as funny as I’d like a Will Ferrell trailer to be. Since director Brad Silberling has a spotty record and I never had any interest in the old TV version of Land of the Lost, this will need to be a hilarious Ferrell show to work. I hope it does.
Imagine That
Uninspired Eddie Murphy vehicle. Not in the same league of badness as last year’s Meet Dave mind you. I mean this trailer’s not bad at all, it’s just bland. Unfortunately for its prospects, it seems too similar to Bedtime Stories. There are some humorous moments, and I can relate to the father-daughter relationship aspect of the story, but overall, there’s not enough here to separate cash from wallet at the B.O.
The Taking of Pelham 123
Stylistically, Tony Scott is one of my favorite directors. He knows how to craft big, cool on-screen action. This is a curious movie choice for a guy so advanced in his career though. When you can make whatever move you feel like, why do you want to do a remake? I’ve never seen the original, so it doesn’t make that much difference, I was just wondering. The trailer’s fast-paced, interesting, and stylish, but the main problem is we’ve seen it before. It’s a hostage movie where the good guy and the bad guy almost become drinking buddies over the phone while the crisis brews. Because of the over-familiarity factor, I doubt I’ll be there opening weekend.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Stylistically, Michael Bay is my favorite director. No other director on the planet creates better action sequences or makes movies that look cooler or more larger-than-life than Bay. Without Bay’s involvement I wouldn’t even think about seeing a Transformers movie. Plot-wise, the first one was overstuffed and frequently goofy, and I don’t expect much more from chapter two. The sequel brings back the talented and funny Shia LaBoeuf, but most of all, it brings back Bay’s signature speed and explosions. I’m suddenly hungry for popcorn.
Public Enemies
I’m usually not very interested in bad-guy glorification movies. I prefer hero stories. This looks more like the former, especially since it stars Johnny Depp as real-life baddie John Dillinger. But it also stars Christian Bale as the apparent good guy, and it’s directed by Michael Mann who knows his way around a crime movie, so there’s hope. Entertaining trailer the first couple times, though it tapers off on subsequent viewings. One iffy factor is the digital photography. Mann has been using it for several years now, but it was a little distracting seeing it used on a period piece. I’m leaning toward seeing it, but it’s not at the top of my list.
G-Force
First saw this guinea-pigs-as-secret-agents trailer in 2-D and didn’t really care. Then I later saw it in 3-D and suddenly saw some entertainment potential. If 3-D movies are going to take off, I think it’s going to be with this type of family movie. We’ve seen this CGI animal character shtick countless times before, but the human cast does include Will Arnett and Bill Nighy, so there is laugh potential.
Funny People
Judd Apatow is a genuinely funny writer/director and capable of making heartfelt, even pro-family movies. I just wish he didn’t feel the need to give his scripts a good rinse in the potty before shooting. I’m assuming Funny People (with Adam Sandler and other familiar faces from recent Apatow movies) will also revel in crassness, but like Knocked Up, you wouldn’t necessarily know it by the trailer. Funny and semi-heartwarming, Funny People is one of the best previews I’ve seen this year.
