I interrupt this blog – wait a minute, doesn’t there have to be actual blog activity to incur an interruption? – with an official announcement for all potential readers: the funniest series currently found anywhere on television is a show called Phineas and Ferb. Yes, it airs on Disney Channel, however, he who scoffs because of this deprives himself of copious laughter.

Over time, this animated series very slowly infected me by way of me catching snippets of it passing through the living room as my young daughter enjoyed the televised zaniness. Finally, several months ago, the wittiness and hilarity I was merely whiffing, led me to catch a full episode and I was hooked. This is saying something because this is coming from a person who has never even watched a full episode of The Simpsons since animated comedy has never appealed to me. Thinking it was a run-of-the-mill kiddie cartoon, I initially ignored Phineas and Ferb and missed out on untold quantities of hearty laughter.

The title characters are half-brothers – one American, one British (who rarely speaks) – trying to get the most out of each day of their summer vacation. They also happen to be pretty brilliant, so every day they create something elaborate, often in their back yard, like the world’s funnest roller coaster, or giant tree-house robots. The guys are great, as is their big sister Candace who’s always trying to bust them, and as are many other funny supporting characters, but my favorite thing about the show is evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He is the world’s most brilliantly dumb evil mastermind, whose ridiculous schemes for world domination are perpetually foiled by Perry the Platypus (who happens to be Phineas and Ferb’s pet, though they don’t know he’s a secret-agent superhero). Doofenshmirtz is absolutely hilarious with his angst and never-ending quest for hostile takeover of the “entire Tri-State area”. Trust me, give Doofenshmirtz one minute of your time and you’ll be hooked.

Phineas and Ferb features insanely jam-packed plots that always intertwine in random, funny, Seinfeld-ian ways. They even manage to work an original song into every episode. If laughter is indeed the best medicine, Phineas and Ferb is a miracle drug.  Here’s a taste:

http://www.imdb.com/rg/VIDEO_PLAY/LINK//video/screenplay/vi1353843481/

Here we go with another roundup of trailers playing at a theatre near you (in upcoming release order):

Dragonball: Evolution
I don’t know squat about Dragonball, except it’s some kind of Japanimation thing.  I don’t think I’ll ever know anything about Dragonball.  I don’t think I’ll be missing anything.  You won’t either if you don’t ever see this trailer.  It’s chock full o’ lame.  I will be shocked if this finds any kind of audience.      

Hannah Montana: the Movie
I do know a surprising amount about Hannah Montana because my daughter’s a fan of the TV series.  It skews a little old for her, but she likes the characters, the slapstick, and most of all the music.  The trailer for the movie is ridiculously well done for what it is.  I mean the story’s the kind we’ve seen a thousand times, but it’s a well packaged preview for fans of the show because it showcases all the things my daughter loves about it:  characters, slapstick, and music.  If I’m being uncomfortably vulnerable, I have to admit the trailer even gives my heartstring a little pluck since this movie will likely bring the Montana series to a close – and with it, my daughter’s preschool years.  Sniff, sniff.

Observe and Report
Seth Rogen and his buddies have created their own new genre of movie which I think I’ll dub sewage sinema.  In everyday life, I try to avoid slobby, potty-mouthed characters, so why would I pay to see them in a movie?  And it’s not just the content that looks sewage-y, the whole production looks bleak.  How ‘bout a little cinematography?  Hopefully one of these days the Rogen gang will figure out they can still be hilarious without all the nasty (Bill Cosby anyone?  Heck, even Adam Sandler in Bedtime Stories!).  This is Mall Cop meets Pineapple Express.  BTW, kinda weird how many similar scenes this trailer shares with Mall Cop.  

Crank: High Voltage
Just thinking about this choppy, messy, pass-the-Ritalin trailer gives me a headache.  I hope I never see it again.  A ludicrous, over-the-top, gutter-dwelling mess.

Fighting
I like me a good fighting movie sometimes.  I’m a Rocky and Karate Kid fan.  Ahh, but there’s the catch.  Those movies weren’t really about fighting!  They were about relationships.  Fighting, as one might surmise from the title, looks to be just about fighting.  When the title came up at the end of this very weak trailer, it struck me as funny.  I can just see the marketing execs going around the table on this one.  It must’ve been two minutes ‘til lunch time and they still didn’t have a title.  “Wait, guys, I think I got it… it’s got plenty of fighting, so we could, like, call it Fighting!  With a capital F!  That’ll look rad on the poster.”      

Obsessed
When you have to sit through a bunch of trailers every weekend, you inevitably get lots of repeats.  So, you hope the repeats are cool, snappy, funny, you know, just plain fun to watch – even if it’s for a movie you don’t really care to see.  Obsessed is not one of those trailers.  It’s about a crazy white woman at work who tries to steal Beyonce’s hunky hubby.  Beyonce gets mad and tries to take out the crazy white woman.  I think what happened was this trailer accidentally got shipped to theatres instead of the Lifetime movie channel.  Will someone please help it find its way home so we don’t have to see it anymore? 

The Soloist
This is a great trailer.  It does what a trailer’s supposed to do:  make you want to see the whole movie.  It’s not easy to advertise a serious drama because you can’t fall back on any crotch-hits or other cheap laughs.  This trailer just gets the mix of acting, tension, emotion, photography, and especially music right.  And it does it without teetering over the edge into cheesiness.  It’s based on a true story and stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx.  I’m looking forward to checking it out.  My slight concern about The Soloist has nothing to do with the trailer, but with its release being bumped from last fall’s awards season to late April.  Sometimes that means there’s something wrong with it.  Hopefully not!   

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Matthew McConaughey is pretty entertaining in these romantic comedy roles.  This one just looks so-so.  I’m not really into the thousandth rendition of Dickens’ Christmas Carol.  But then Jennifer Garner shows up and gives the movie some hope.  The trailer doesn’t really indicate it, but if the movie manages some heart to balance out the goofiness, it might be okay.   

Star Trek
I already mentioned the first trailer for J.J. Abrams’ version of Star Trek in the last Trailer Parking edition, but I had to mention it again because there’s a brand-new version of the trailer and it’s even better than the first!  Now I’m no Trek nerd – I was always more of a Star Wars guy growing up (BTW why do we even compare the two?  Just because they both have “Star” in the title?) – but I am a J.J. Abrams fan and it looks like he’s brought a pretty awesome style and energy to the Trek reboot.  This trailer ditches the over-the-top car chase opening of the first trailer and ratchets up the action and drama.  Drama?  Is that even possible in a Star Trek flick?  It just might be and that’s one of the reasons this looks so promising.    

Land of the Lost
Opening scene of this trailer is one of the best of the year so far:  Will Ferrell as some kind of scientist guy being interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show.  Great stuff!  The rest of the trailer is pretty good, though not quite as funny as I’d like a Will Ferrell trailer to be.  Since director Brad Silberling has a spotty record and I never had any interest in the old TV version of Land of the Lost, this will need to be a hilarious Ferrell show to work.  I hope it does.     

Imagine That
Uninspired Eddie Murphy vehicle.  Not in the same league of badness as last year’s Meet Dave mind you.  I mean this trailer’s not bad at all, it’s just bland.  Unfortunately for its prospects, it seems too similar to Bedtime Stories.  There are some humorous moments, and I can relate to the father-daughter relationship aspect of the story, but overall, there’s not enough here to separate cash from wallet at the B.O.  

The Taking of Pelham 123
Stylistically, Tony Scott is one of my favorite directors.  He knows how to craft big, cool on-screen action.  This is a curious movie choice for a guy so advanced in his career though.  When you can make whatever move you feel like, why do you want to do a remake?  I’ve never seen the original, so it doesn’t make that much difference, I was just wondering.  The trailer’s fast-paced, interesting, and stylish, but the main problem is we’ve seen it before.  It’s a hostage movie where the good guy and the bad guy almost become drinking buddies over the phone while the crisis brews.  Because of the over-familiarity factor, I doubt I’ll be there opening weekend.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Stylistically, Michael Bay is my favorite director.  No other director on the planet creates better action sequences or makes movies that look cooler or more larger-than-life than Bay.  Without Bay’s involvement I wouldn’t even think about seeing a Transformers movie.  Plot-wise, the first one was overstuffed and frequently goofy, and I don’t expect much more from chapter two.  The sequel brings back the talented and funny Shia LaBoeuf, but most of all, it brings back Bay’s signature speed and explosions.  I’m suddenly hungry for popcorn.   

Public Enemies
I’m usually not very interested in bad-guy glorification movies.  I prefer hero stories.  This looks more like the former, especially since it stars Johnny Depp as real-life baddie John Dillinger.  But it also stars Christian Bale as the apparent good guy, and it’s directed by Michael Mann who knows his way around a crime movie, so there’s hope.  Entertaining trailer the first couple times, though it tapers off on subsequent viewings.  One iffy factor is the digital photography.  Mann has been using it for several years now, but it was a little distracting seeing it used on a period piece.  I’m leaning toward seeing it, but it’s not at the top of my list. 

G-Force
First saw this guinea-pigs-as-secret-agents trailer in 2-D and didn’t really care.  Then I later saw it in 3-D and suddenly saw some entertainment potential.  If 3-D movies are going to take off, I think it’s going to be with this type of family movie.  We’ve seen this CGI animal character shtick countless times before, but the human cast does include Will Arnett and Bill Nighy, so there is laugh potential. 

Funny People
Judd Apatow is a genuinely funny writer/director and capable of making heartfelt, even pro-family movies.  I just wish he didn’t feel the need to give his scripts a good rinse in the potty before shooting.  I’m assuming Funny People (with Adam Sandler and other familiar faces from recent Apatow movies) will also revel in crassness, but like Knocked Up, you wouldn’t necessarily know it by the trailer.  Funny and semi-heartwarming, Funny People is one of the best previews I’ve seen this year.

My blog’s been idle for five months! Lots of life stuff to blame it on, mainly moving into a new house and the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year’s mega-holiday. But it’s late February of a new year and I have renewed determination to write about movies. So I thought I’d kick things off with a rundown on current trailers. It’s not a great crop, but there’s some potential here and there…

Monsters vs. Aliens
Kind of ugly animated characters – not very cuddly or Happy Meal ready. Looks like this will up the ante on DreamWorks’ trademark, Shrek-ish, crude humor. Some pretty funny dialogue in the preview, though it skews adult. Verdict: this might make a fun 3-D outing – but not for my 4-year-old.

Dance Flick
Pretty funny trailer, especially when the teen mom takes her baby to school with her, but I’ve never paid to see a Wayans brothers movie before and don’t plan to start now.

All About Steve
Okay, but I’d rather see the other Bullock comedy releasing this year: The Proposal. Glad to see Bullock hasn’t sworn off rom-coms, but I’d like to see her in a Jerry Maguire-type dramedy. A comedy with some substance.

Race to Witch Mountain
Some trailer lines fall flat, but the effects are pretty sharp and Dwayne Johnson is good with this brand of family fare (i.e., The Game Plan). Bonus points for casting Carla Gugino. Should be decent family fun.

Duplicity
Has an Ocean’s 11 vibe. Pretty sharp trailer overall. Roberts and Owen seem to play off each other well. Willing to try this one.

I Love You, Man
Inevitably, this will be rated R – and not just any R, but the nasty level R that is in vogue these days. Which is really too bad because I’ve always liked Paul Rudd and he finally gets his own starring vehicle and the preview’s quite funny too. I’ll have to wait ‘til TBS sanitizes this one.

Knowing
Yawning. This Nic Cage flick feels like thriller-by-numbers, which is funny because the plot is apparently about numbers… never mind. Just not interested.

Adventureland
Sometimes humorous trailer promises to be another gross-out comedy, so count me out. Too bad because I like Bill Hader.

17 Again
Hollywood loves ‘em some body-switching movies. This is yet another iteration of big, but this time it’s Zac Effron playing a younger Matthew Perry. They’re both pretty likable and there are a few funny trailer moments, so maybe I’ll… oohh, they almost had me.

State of Play
Solid cast including Russell Crowe and Helen Mirren just might buoy a so-so premise. This feels like familiar fare, but I’ll probably give it a chance.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I never made it to the third X-Men movie, though I enjoyed the second. I like Hugh Jackman, but I think origin stories are entirely overrated, so I’ll skip this one.

Star Trek
I’m there. But didn’t I just say I’m not a fan of origin stories? Yes, but, this one’s directed by JJ Abrams and looks cool, and seems like more of a reboot than a serious attempt to link itself with previous movies. I like the opening sequence fake-out that draws you in before you realize it’s Star Trek. Young cast seems cool. Action is tight. Effects aren’t too fake. JJ’s a smart director, so beam me up.

Angels & Demons
Seriously? I never saw The DaVinci Code, but even if I had, I’d be disturbed by the CGI fakeness of this trailer’s opening. I like Tom Hanks (who doesn’t?) and Ron Howard, but it looks like they should’ve skipped this one. I know I’m going to.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
I seriously disliked the first one, so this trailer does absolutely nothing for me. Well, it does have one funny moment with Bill Hader as General Custard, trying to get Sacajawea’s name right, but other than that, it relies too much on fake CGI statues talking like gangstas. And the Abe Lincoln thing at the end is too much (how ‘bout showing some respect?!).

Terminator: Salvation
Christian Bale is a great actor and solid action star. There’s nothing particularly wrong with this trailer, I’m just not near enough of a Terminator fan to get excited about this. Doubt I’ll see it.

Up
It’s colorful, it’s humorous, it’s intriguing without giving too much away, and best of all, it’s Pixar, which has a none too shabby track record. I look forward to checking this out.

The Proposal
Good to see Sandy Bullock back in another rom-com. And though most critics would probably label him a one-note kind of actor, I think Ryan Reynolds is pretty funny. Looks like a fun time at the movies.

The Ugly Truth
Looks like a pretty standard rom-com, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Quality here probably depends mostly on how well Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler go together onscreen. Hard to gauge by this preview, but there’s nothing glaringly bad, so I give it a definite maybe.

2012
This gets a definite no. Why? Because Roland Emmerich hasn’t made a decent movie since The Patriot. This might as well be called The Day After the Day After Tomorrow. No interest whatsoever in this unless it has extensive re-shoots directed by Michael Bay.

Fast & Furious
Never seen any of this series’ entries and this trailer doesn’t make me want to start now.

It is not my purpose in writing about movies and previews and movie-makers and movie-making companies to be negative all the time. Yet, when you’re a movie fan and you come to the end of August and into September – you find yourself at the end of the summer movie candy land trail, staring into a gray, decaying, cinder-block lot with weeds poking through the pavement. That beeping sound you hear is the sound of the studio dump trucks backing up to the landfill and dumping the movie trash that they didn’t have confidence enough in to release at any of the plum times of year. So it’s hard to be rosy about movies right now.

Hollywood takes out the trash two times a year, from roughly January to March, and again from late August to mid-October. I’ve never understood this release strategy. I mean, I get that you release a lot of movies during the summer ‘cause kids are out of school, and during the holiday season because people are off work and have time to go to the movies. But as several break-out movies have proved over the years, people will still turn out in droves to see decent movies during the non-peak times of the year, if only there was something decent to see, rather than, say, Bangkok Dangerous, or Disaster Movie (not that those two are more egregious than others, they’re just the ones that sprang to mind first).

I don’t know, it just seems to me like this whole year has been chockfull of more stinkers than usual. Ever thought about the fact that what you see on the marquee at the theatre represents the very best in motion pictures Hollywood has to offer – the result of hundreds of millions of dollars poured into development, “talent”, etc.? I mean, there are a ton of money and many genuinely talented movie-making folks out there and this is the best they can come up with? It’s like the big car manufacturers in Detroit releasing mostly Geos and other cheap, lemony cars (I’d name more of them if I knew more about cars).

To me, going to movies should primarily be fun. I mean, I like me some serious movies too, but I don’t like to go to the theatre to feel bad. That’s why it’s truly awful to have your senses pulverized with crap like the trailers for Max Payne and Punisher: War Zone. And I hardly know what to say anymore about the Saw movies other than Lionsgate should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for creating what has aptly been deemed “torture porn”. Fortunately, I’ve only had to see the trailer for their latest atrocity once, and imagine my horror and disgust when what begins with the Christian hymn “Be Thou My Vision” over onscreen words including “His message is righteous” and “His love is everlasting”, ends up being a man trapped in the latest torture/death contraption to be featured in Saw V. The fact that these filmmakers chose to mock God on top of their usual passing off violent torture as entertainment confirms this series as personification of sheer evil. Depravity is apparently alive and well at Lionsgate. Oh yeah, and they’re doing some promotion leading up to the movie, encouraging folks to donate blood to the Red Cross. Classy. I literally wonder how these people sleep at night.

Anyway, for the most part, the trailers over the past month have been very blah. However, in an effort to end this post on a more positive note, I’m happy to report there is a ray of light on the distant movie horizon. Ever so slowly, there are a few trailers trickling out for late-year movies that offer hope to get us through the current doldrums. No, I’m not talking about W. I’m talking about dramas like The Soloist, Changeling, and Frost/Nixon – all based on true stories. All three look very interesting and full of potential. I particularly enjoyed the Frost/Nixon trailer. Four Christmases looks like possible holiday hilarity and there’s also a good new trailer for Quantum of Solace. Of course, if none of these offer enough encouragement, you can always join me in clicking over to…

http://www.australiamovie.com/

…where you can enjoy what is still the best trailer of the year so far. Is it November 26^th yet?

Anyway, it seems that trailer reviews get the most reader interest here in general, so I finally got around to writing about the latest and greatest… and not so greatest. To my astonishment, I have seen 61 new trailers, in theatres, since I last reviewed any trailers. Since 61 is way too many to write about individually, and because of the 61 the vast majority are akin to pond scum, I thought I’d mark the ¾ year mark by passing out a few trailer awards. I saved my favorites for the end, so stick around to find out what the best trailer of 2008 is (so far):

First, some trailers I’m very tired of seeing:

The Express, Bolt, Death Race, Lakeview Terrace, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Eagle Eye, Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa, The Tale of Desperaux, The Longshots, Babylon A.D., Ghost Town, Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I want to see Eagle Eye, and Bolt looks pretty funny – I’ve just seen their previews too many times already. Now on to the awards…

“Oh no she didn’t” award for outstanding achievement in girlfriend annoyance:

The Women

We’re like, totally as hip as Juno (just check out our title!) and look we even have Michael Cera award:

Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist

We don’t have any stars or an original story to tell, but we promise we’ll be really filthy like those other movies we’re clones of award:

College, Sex Drive

Coen Bros. quirkiness act wearing thin award:

Burn After Reading

Look ma, we can be as quirk-a-licious as the Coen Bros. award:

The Brothers Bloom

Weinstein Co. “we’ll release almost anything” award:

Igor

Julianne Moore needs to do an all-out comedy immediately if not sooner award:

Blindness

If I’m feeling too happy and good about life and need to be taken down several notches award:

Tie between: Blindness, Quarantine, Punisher: War Zone, Mirrors, Death Race

Best “you”, “no, you!” triumphant pointing between coach and player award:

The Longshots

Outstanding achievement in number of onscreen tears squeezed into a two-minute trailer award:

Nights in Rodanthe

Quickest descent from intriguing to cheesy within a single trailer award:

Miracle at St. Anna

The it’s amazing how familiar this movie seems award:

Body of Lies

Most elaborate, most brilliant movie hoax/prank award:

W…

Wait, it’s a real movie? With Richard Dreyfus playing Dick Cheney? And it’s a drama, not a comedy? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha… ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee, ho, ho, ho. That’s good stuff.

Someone treat these emos to a Planet Tan session award:

Twilight

Most money spent on a bad idea award:

Fly Me to the Moon
Honorable Mention: Hotel for Dogs

Outstanding achievement in movie and role retread award:

Righteous Kill

Preemptive award for most pretentious trailer of the year:

Watchmen

I hope there’s enough story left over that’s not featured in the trailer award:

Flash of Genius

Absolutely no story revealed in the trailer award:

Marley and Me

Most brilliant marketing, brand capitalization, eye-candy, and loyalty to fans award:

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Dumb, comic book fatigue award:

The Spirit

Outstanding achievement in towering hairdos award:

The Duchess

Most likely to be crowned by Oprah as best movie in the history of mankind award:

The Secret Life of Bees

Special Achievement award for churning out more movies in a shorter amount of time than any other writer/director/actor on the planet:

Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys

Most iffy CGI, premise, and remake award:

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Most unfunny, un-French accented, and unsolicited sequel award:

The Pink Panther 2

The Worst Trailer of the Year so far:

Beverly Hills Chihuahua (the one with the singing Aztec Chihuahuas). It is one of the most grating, annoying trailers I’ve ever seen.

Dishonorable mention: Disaster Movie.

On a more positive note:

Funnier than they should be award:

The House Bunny, How to Lose Friends & Alienate People, Role Models

Some very good trailers:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Quantum of Solace, Henry Poole is Here, The Lucky Ones

And finally, the Best trailer of 2008 so far:

Australia

I’m not a big Baz Luhrmann, Nicole Kidman, or Hugh Jackman fan, but this is an absolutely superbly crafted trailer. Excellent music, editing, photography, action, and acting. Plus, it doesn’t give away much story at all! It has a very old-fashioned, John Ford western, Man from Snowy River feel. It hits all the right notes.

That wraps up this edition of Trailer Parking.  Hopefully it won’t be another 61 trailers before I write again! 

I suppose I should first disclose the prejudicial feelings I had toward Wall-E before viewing it.  I had read way back in ’06, rumors that this strange movie was going to be devoid of dialogue and was about a Hello Dolly-loving robot in the future where everyone is so overweight they just float around in cushy flying Lazy-boys.  From the sound of those rumors (which turned out to be pretty much true) I thought Pixar was finally going to burst their own bubble by becoming too cool for school and too self-aware to ever again make a Toy Story or Incredibles. 

Then there was the fact that Wall-E looks and even sounds quite a bit like the robot from Short Circuit.  It’s a robot – they could’ve made him look like anything, so why’d he have to look like #5?  By the way, why are filmmakers so obsessed with humanizing technology?  How many times have we seen robotic characters that end up having more feelings and being nobler than humans?  Are we really that bad?  I just don’t get into the robot-as-human thing.

There was also that initial trailer featuring Andrew Stanton that rubbed me the wrong way with its poetic waxing about the great Pixar “lunch” of 1994 at which the idea of Wall-E was first batted around.  On top of that, I was skeptical about all the advertising which never touched on the touchy fact that all the human characters are grossly overweight and float around on futuristic Lazy-boys.  What I’m getting at is that the signs were pointing toward Wall-E being artsy-fartsy rather than the good old-fashioned Pixar fun that makes a lot of folks look forward to their every project.

So what does Wall-E turn out to be?  It falls somewhere in the middle between artsy and plain fun – which isn’t a bad place to be.  I liked the movie overall.  The primary element that got me past the robot love story (insert eye-roll) was the amazing visuals.  Wow!  It is eye-popping stuff from start to finish.  While we’ve come to expect nothing less from a Pixar movie, this one manages to have a very unique look and feel, probably because of the futuristic setting, but also because of creative touches like the occasional focus shifts that occur, which make it look as if the action’s being shot with a real camera.  If you see it, try to watch it on a digital projection screen to get the most detailed picture.

It’s true, the first half hour or so contains essentially no dialogue, and yet, you’re not bored out of your mind, which is a sign you’re watching a well-constructed movie.  The character of Wall-E is established quickly, efficiently, and entertainingly.  Things get even more interesting when EVE arrives from outer space.  EVE is a sleek, white robot that looks like an Apple product.  No wonder Wall-E immediately likes her.

From there, the odd robo-couple is blasted into space for an adventure aboard the flying cruise ship where all the humans float around in leisure, sort of waiting until it’s safe to return to earth.  It’s at this point that the story sags a little, feeling like one prolonged chase scene.  Plus, you expect to get to know some of the human characters, but you never really do except for the ship’s captain.  Instead, you get to know more robots, who all act more alive than the humans. 

What saves the saggy parts in the movie’s second half are the creative visuals.  The ship is awesome to look at and explore, and there’s always some kind of creative gadgetry doing something interesting.  There is also some humor here and there, though not as much as the average Pixar movie.

Amidst all the visual splendor, there is one questionable creative choice which is that all the video footage of the humans who initially abandoned earth are real humans, rather than animated characters, including actor Fred Willard who plays the CEO of the big corporation that apparently runs the world (note to movie people:  surely there is some big corporation out there that isn’t evil).  It just seemed a strange choice to have real humans in the corporate video segments, but animated humans in the rest of the movie. 

Another minor annoyance is the same sci-fi logic leap that affects a lot of sci-fi movies.  If the movie’s humans have the technology and capacity to build a giant space ship that everyone can live on for hundreds of years, why didn’t they just harness that technology and capacity to get rid of all the trash so they could remain on earth?  It doesn’t make sense.  If nothing else, why not just shoot the trash into deep space where it won’t bother anyone? 

Okay, I need to wrap this up, but I have to comment about the cynical portrayal of the future humans.  Anyone who watches this will immediately see it as a commentary on the American obesity epidemic.  I read an interview with director Andrew Stanton last week in which he said they made the humans all blubbery because NASA told them prolonged space travel causes you to lose bone mass and become blob-like.  There is one very brief reference to that science in the movie, but not until after several scenes of the humans slurping from giant fast-food-like cups, while glued to their multi-media screens.  There’s nothing subtle about it, the humans are entirely sedentary, helpless, and not very bright. 

What’s annoying about this is that none of the filmmakers will step up and admit that they’re commenting on or parodying our culture of obesity.  It makes them seem a little spineless to duck behind the “science” of space travel, when their depiction so clearly emphasizes that the humans are mostly dumb, lazy, and fat because they sit around all the time eating and being entertained.  It’s strange that this iffy aspect was deemed worth the risk, since it wouldn’t have really altered the story to have the humans appear more normal.  Disney/Pixar obviously knew they had something iffy on their hands since all references to it were left out of the promos.  It’d be refreshing to see Stanton and others involved stop tap-dancing around the issue and just admit that it’s an anti-obesity message.      

Well, this “review” has morphed and branched into more of an essay or something, but I guess that’s the cool thing about blogs.  No editors.  No deadlines.  Just tellin’ it like it is, with not too much rhyme or reason other than it’s fun to discuss movies. 

The bottom line is that overall, Wall-E is a very entertaining movie.  I haven’t seen anything quite like it before, and it’s not often that you can say that about a movie.  Other commendable elements are the robotic sounds created by Ben Burtt, and the lovely score by Thomas Newman.  And even though I’m not cool with humanizing technology, Wall-E is a plucky, fun, even sweet character who managed to grow on me.  You should check it out. 

Once upon a time, savvy movie exec-types discovered that American youth have more time to frequent movie-playing establishments during the lazy, hazy days between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and thus began releasing their yummiest eye-candy during the summer.  Typically these aren’t necessarily the best movies of the year, but they’re frequently the funnest.  

For me, summer is permanently linked with movies.  The prospect of week after week of new blockbusters just made vacation from school that much sweeter.  Every year, just before school was out, I’d scramble to the nearest magazine seller (except when I lived in American magazine-less Senegal) to snap up the summer movie preview issues of Entertainment Weekly and Premiere.  They were my roadmaps to fun and there I’d sit, in air-conditioned bliss, putting off end-of-school-year projects and finals-studying to plan out my movie-watching strategy for the season.

Things haven’t changed all that much for me as an adult summer movie enthusiast.  I still get the fever around mid-April, plus there’s now an added nostalgia element that only enhances the kick I get out of beating the heat with a blast of frosty cineplex AC, a good Cherry Coke, and some fresh popcorn, or Junior Mints, or M&Ms, or heck, maybe all three.  After all, it’s summer, baby!

Since the summer movie season unofficially kicks off with Iron Man this weekend, I thought I’d throw out my top wanna-see movies of summer ’08:

1.  Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Dude, Indiana Jones helped invent the summer movie, so how could anything else possibly top my list?  The nostalgia factor’s in overdrive with this one, after all, the last time Indy was in theatres, the summer was 1989 and I was just beginning to blossom as a movie fan.  This movie will have to be horrendous not to be a ton of fun.  Fortunately, Spielberg’s horrendous movies are few and very far between.  The teaser trailer was great, as is the follow-up trailer released on Friday.  Indy could be searching for his lost sock and I’d still stand in line to see it!    

2.  The Dark Knight

Speaking of 1989, are we in some kind of weird time warp?  Because the last time Indy Jones was on-screen, another little movie came out the same summer called Batman.  Michael Keaton was Batman, Jack Nicholson was The Joker and it was directed by some dude named Tim Burton.  The dark movie both disturbed and fascinated my 12-year-old self.  Plus it had Kim Basinger.  

Back to 2008… I didn’t fawn over Batman Begins like most people I know, but it wasn’t bad.  I mean it was light years ahead of Joel Schumacher’s franchise wreckers.  But Begins still left a lot to be desired.  After all these outings, I’m hoping that The Dark Knight finally delivers the Bat-goods.  

One thing that’s always annoyed me about the Bat franchise is that the villains usually end up hogging the spotlight.  Come on!  I wanna see Batman use his cool weaponry to kick bootay.  Dark Knight has a good trailer (plus a solid updated version that released this weekend), but I fear it might be more about The Joker than the B-man.  I am looking forward to it, but if this one don’t deliver the goods, I’m done with Bat-movies.        

3.  Hancock

It’s becoming apparent that summer ’08 is going to be about the anti-hero.  Between this and Iron Man, we’re entering the postmodern superhero era wherein the heroes are kinda crusty, and jerky, and save the world kinda reluctantly because deep, deep down somewhere inside, they really do care for humanity.  I suppose this approach is sort of inevitable after nearly two decades chock full of every superhero character movie possible.  It ain’t easy to come up with something fresh within the genre.  While I can appreciate the effort to be original, our superheroes’ exploits have traditionally been an extension of their morality, so I’m a bit skeptical about sleazing them up.

But, getting back to the fun, the Hancock trailers are terrific.  Will Smith is one of the best movie stars around.  He knows how to do blockbusters and he doesn’t make bad movies (except for Men in Black II).  Plus, this one’s directed by Peter Berg, a new-ish director whose style I dig.  Another major plus?  The effects look better than average.

4.  Get Smart

Looks like a lot of goofy fun.  Steve Carrell is hard to beat.  Anne Hathaway is an interesting sidekick choice.  Alan Arkin is usually cool, and Dwayne Johnson knows his way around comedy too.  The track record for TV to big screen remakes isn’t too rosy, but I think this will survive the transition.  Nothing like some good laughs in the summer, so I definitely plan on sampling me some Smart.  

5.  The Happening

For my money, M. Night’s one of those writer/directors whose movies aren’t to be missed.  Although I’d like to see him shake things up with something a little lighter and/or with more action, I’m still interested in his work.  His last outing (Lady in the Water) wasn’t as good as his previous stuff, but it was still a lot more interesting than most movies.  Word is that Happening will be M.’s first R-rated movie.  Not sure what all that will mean, but it will likely involve scariness.  

Neither of the Happening trailers screams awesome.  The latest trailer adds some annoying ear-punishing POUNDS at the end that are meant to jar, but instead made me concerned that they’re trying to compensate for some deficiency.  In fact, if Mr. M. wasn’t behind this, I wouldn’t see it based on the trailers.  But since he is, I look forward to giving Happening a chance.    

6.  The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The hype machine claims Caspian will be darker and more action-oriented than Wardrobe.  I hope so.  I didn’t dislike Wardrobe, it just didn’t stick with me very long.  Part of the problem is that it’s hard to have epic battle scenes in a PG movie.  I’m all for family movies, but you can’t really be Lord of the Rings, have your cake, and eat it too.  Know what I mean?  The Caspian trailers sure look epic, with great visuals and superb effects.  It has a lot of potential, but based on the first movie, I’m just cautiously optimistic.      

7.  The Love Guru

Mike Myers is the number one reason I’m looking forward to Guru.  The first trailer was pretty funny.  The updated trailer is even funnier.  Both of them are full of typical Myers shtick, which means a hefty amount of visual gags.  I was a little surprised to see more dwarf jokes with Austin Powers’ Verne Troyer, which seems like an unnecessary reprise, but that can be forgiven if the movie’s funny enough.  

8.  Swing Vote

Despite this movie’s unrealistic premise, the election year timeliness accompanying it looks like fun.  The trailer for this caught me by surprise a bit.  Frankly, I wasn’t expecting it to be so good.  It has a very Capraesqe quality to it as well as a surprisingly robust cast, including Kevin Costner in the lead.  I still think Kevin’s cool, so come August, I’m planning to cast my vote for Swing.

9.  What Happens in Vegas

Why do I want to see this when I don’t really like Cameron Diaz, I don’t drink, I don’t gamble, and I’ve never been to Vegas?  Well, I guess it boils down to being in the mood for some laughs this summer, plus I think Ashton Kutcher’s pretty funny.  I’m not expecting the best rom-com ever or anything, but the trailer is funny.  It hooked me when Kutcher asks his buddy, “Where’s the one place you can go to step up and be a man?” To which his buddy replies, “Community college?”  That’s my brand o’ humor.

10.  Iron Man

Three superhero movies on my list?  I’m disappointed in myself.  Comic book/superhero movies are so overdone by now that I can’t believe I want to see any of them, but, I have to admit that Iron Man looks like it might pack some quality action and a lot of humor.  So, completely against my better judgment, I plan to check this one out.    

So those are the top ten flicks I’m interested in this summer.  What are you jazzed about seeing?  

That’s why the Oscars are really a popularity contest.  I mean, sure, skill and great performances are recognized, but since there’s no way to really score the thing, it’s ultimately a popularity contest. Does it really ever make sense for the director of a best picture winner not to win best director?  On that note, it seems pretty dumb that this year, Atonement could be nominated in so many categories, including best picture, yet director Joe Wright isn’t one of the best director nominees.  Weird.  This can be frustrating for a guy who likes sports and movies because in a game, whoever plays better that day wins.  It simply cannot work that way for movies. 

When I was a young, naïve movie fan, I used to get pumped about the Oscars because at the time, I thought the system really rewarded that year’s best.  The year I realized it is actually all about who can mount the best awards campaign was 1998.  There is no way Shakespeare in Love is a better “picture” than Saving Private Ryan (more on that later).  

Despite the ridiculousness of it all, the Oscars are still fun (minus the political agenda flaunting moments).  And it’s always fun to have my own opinion validated on the rare occasion that the Academy picks my favorite.  So, in that spirit of fun, here is my list from the past 18 years of the movies that should have won best picture.  I’m arbitrarily starting the list with 1989 because that is the year I began paying attention to the Oscars and actually watching a lot of the nominated movies.

1989

Winner:  Driving Miss Daisy

Should’ve won:  Glory

I don’t mean to crack on Daisy at all.  It’s a total classic and I own it on DVD.  Any other year in which Glory wasn’t released, Daisy should probably win.  But Glory!  Man, what a movie.  If you’re not on any emotions-affecting medication, I defy you not to get teary at least once sometime during Glory.  Glory represents what movies can do better than any other art form.  Check out that Denzel guy – not too shabby.  How ‘bout that James Horner score?  Only one of the best ever.  And get this – Glory wasn’t even nominated for best picture, which makes it one of the biggest robberies on my list.  

Favorite scene:  Too many to choose from.  Seriously.  Maybe when the regiment marches past the white troops toward the fateful beach.  Excuse me while I fetch a hanky…  

1990

Winner:  Dances With Wolves

Should’ve won:  Dances With Wolves

This is one of those movies that’s become kind of a favorite to make fun of over the years.  I mean, there’s lots of funny things you can do with the title (and the other Indian names), etc.  But the fact remains, this is a great movie and deserved its win that year.  Make fun of him all you want, but Costner did a great job acting in this and it’s a little scary how well he did as director, considering it was his first time directing a movie.  

Favorite scene:  Probably when Dances goes back to his old outpost and finds his journal, reminiscing as he reads, accompanied by a harmonica rendition of John Barry’s beautiful score.  Great stuff.

1991

Winner:  Silence of the Lambs

Should’ve won:  JFK    

Lambs is nasty, okay?  Yeah, it scared me to death when I finally, entirely reluctantly, caved to my college roomie’s insistence that I needed to see it.  I enjoy a great, suspenseful thriller, but not those that glorify their villain’s depravity like Silence.  For a superior suspense thriller experience, check out JFK.  It’s a complex, twisty tale that leaves your head spinning.  Oliver Stone has his politically kooky moments, and I’m not saying this movie closes the book on the assassination – but Stone is a deft movie-crafter and I’ve doubted the lone-gunman story ever since.  

Favorite scene:  I’ll have to get back to this one later.  It’s been too long since I’ve seen it.

1992

Winner:  Unforgiven

Should’ve won:  A Few Good Men    

It turns out that Clint Eastwood is a fantastic director, but this one didn’t win me over.  Maybe he won that year because people got all nostalgic about him returning to the Western genre.  I just wasn’t moved or all that entertained by Unforgiven.  A Few Good Men on the other hand is riveting from start to finish.  Its script, by Aaron Sorkin, is simply awesome.  The cast is terrific across the board, from headliner Tom Cruise (one of his best performances) to the supporting roles like ol’ reliable Kevin Bacon.  For a movie centered around so much talking, it is still ridiculously entertaining.  

Favorite scene:  This movie has lots of classic lines, so it’s hard to choose.  Seems like a cop-out to pick the climactic courtroom scene in which Nicholson accuses Cruise of having difficulty handling the truth, but from the moment Jack takes the stand, the verbal duel between he and Tommy is pretty sweet.

1993

Winner:  Schindler’s List

Should’ve won:  Schindler’s List      

I agree with the Academy that Schindler’s List was the best movie in ’93.  It’s very difficult to watch, but it’s one of those movies that everyone needs to see at least once.  Its technical aspects are top-notch, everything from the performances to the photography provide it with a rare authenticity that make the experience unforgettable.  This movie totally transformed  Spielberg’s career.

Favorite scene:  It’s very hard to have a “favorite” scene in a movie like this, but I can’t shake the part near the end where Liam Neeson laments not doing more to save more people.  It is devastating – just like the whole movie.

1994

Winner:  Forrest Gump      

Should’ve won:  The Shawshank Redemption

Forrest was a box office and cultural phenomenon, so I guess its win was inevitable, but I never really caught Gump fever.  It’s not a bad movie.  Tom Hanks is great as usual.  There are a lot of things I like about it, but overall, it’s not nearly the emotion-grabber that Shawshank is.  Actually, I think Quiz Show (another best pic nominee from ’94) is better than Gump too.  Apparently if you want a best picture, all you have to do is cast Morgan Freeman.  That dude can act.  Shawshank is dramatic, sad, humorous, poignant, and suspenseful.  It ain’t easy to do all that in one movie.  

Favorite scene:  Maybe the part where Tim Robbins plays DJ, blaring some classical music in the prison yard.  

1995

Winner:  Braveheart

Should’ve won:  Apollo 13  

This is a heretical choice to make among my generation of males.  Braveheart is a great movie, a fact  confirmed by every sword & sandal dud that has been released in its wake over the past decade, but Apollo 13 got robbed in ’95.  Technically awesome, with a great cast and true-story suspense out the wazoo, 13 is movie magic firing on all cylinders.  When you consider how complicated the real-life story was, it’s amazing how well Ron Howard and co. translated it for the screen.  

Favorite scene:  Perhaps when Mrs. Lovell (Kathleen Quinlan) watches a clip on TV of her husband (Tom Hanks) relating a hopeful story about previous in-flight trouble.  

1996

Winner:  The English Patient

Should’ve won:  Jerry Maguire       

This is one of the easiest, slam-dunk decisions on my list.  Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine keeps referring to it as “that English patient movie”?  My feelings exactly.  Oh, there are a few okay things about it, but it’s nowhere near Cameron Crowe’s Jerry Maguire for overall entertainment value.  Full of classic lines and superior acting from Tom Cruise and Cuba Gooding, Jr., Maguire actually manages to make the “plight” of spoiled, overpaid professional athletes interesting, hilarious, and even dramatic.  Maguire is dramedy at its best. 

Favorite scene:  I really can’t pick just one, so I’ll have to pull one out of a hat… okay, although poor Jonathan Lipnicki was much parodied (not because of bad acting), it’s hard to beat the scene when he gives Jerry a hug and kiss in the kitchen – and just as priceless is Jerry’s uncomfortable expression.

1997

Winner:  Titanic

Should’ve won:  Amistad        

This is one of those years when the Academy started to go off the deep end (pun intended).  Titanic was so gigantic that year, you may not have even heard of one of Steven Spielberg’s very best, and one of his least seen, movies called Amistad.  For some wacky reason, Amistad wasn’t even nominated for best picture.  Based on a true story (yes, I have a penchant for those), Amistad introduced the world to Djimon Hounsou.  Hard to believe he had never acted in a movie before.  Morgan Freeman and Anthony Hopkins also happen to be in it.  It’s another powerful movie from Spielberg about human injustice.  

Favorite scene:  Easy – when one of Hounsou’s fellow tribesmen explains to him the story of Christ using pictures in a book given them by local parishioners.

1998

Winner:  Shakespeare in Love

Should’ve won:  Saving Private Ryan        

Easily the biggest robbery on this entire list!  And the Oscar for best marketing blitz in Oscar history goes to… the Weinsteins.  This one still makes me scratch my head.  It’s not that I wasn’t semi-entertained by Shakespeare in Love, but there’s just no comparing it to the impact of Ryan.  Saving Private Ryan is an experience.  I couldn’t shake it for days after first seeing it.  I was 21-years-old when I saw it in a theatre and it actually gave me a couple nightmares, which hadn’t happened to me since I was a kid.  After hundreds of WWII movies over the years, it’s remarkable that this one felt so original.  Its visceral, gut-wrenching violence was a slap in the face for audiences, almost like, “Oh, so this is what the war was really like” – well, not quite, but it’s as close as most of us would ever want to get.  

The only consolation here Oscar-wise is that Spielberg did win best director.  Oddly enough, he’s still mostly known for his more whimsical movies, but between Schindler’s List, Amistad, Saving Private Ryan, and Munich, I don’t think any director has seriously disturbed me more than Spielberg.        

Favorite scene:  When Tom Hanks goes off by himself after an intense fire-fight, so his troops won’t see him trying to hold back his emotions.

1999

Winner:  American Beauty

Should’ve won:  The Straight Story  

Anyone who’s read this blog before knows that I’m much more of a mainstream movie fan.  So hopefully you know I’m not trying to be all hip and indie by picking The Straight Story for ’99.  In fact, just to prove how non-hip I am, it’s still the only David Lynch movie I’ve ever seen!  

I really love The Straight Story.  Yes, it’s small, and slow, and hardly made anything at the B.O., but it’s all heart, in a non-cheesy, believable way.  The three best things on display are Richard Farnsworth, the score by Angelo Badalamenti, and the simple location photography of the American heartland.  Required viewing for any American feeling bad about their country.  

Favorite scene:  Sitting by a campfire, Farnsworth talks about his brother to a priest.  

2000

Winner:  Gladiator

Should’ve won:  Cast Away    

Thirteen Days is another great, overlooked movie from 2000, but any movie that can make me emotional (slightly) over a guy losing his best buddy – who happens to be a volleyball, deserves some respect, so Cast Away gets my vote.  Gladiator was good spectacle and all, but ultimately felt pretty empty.  Cast Away was interesting because it managed to be riveting when most of the movie is just one character talking to himself (and his volleyball friend).  I also liked it because it takes you on a turbulent ride back to the real world when Hanks finally escapes the island.  It’s a pretty original movie all around and one that stuck with me a lot longer than Gladiator.   

Favorite scene:  Either the tearful goodbye to Wilson, or the final, hopeful scene at the ranch.

2001

Winner:  A Beautiful Mind

Should’ve won:  The Fellowship of the Ring    

One of the things that annoys me about the Academy is that they’re always retroactively awarding folks.  Exhibit A:  Ron Howard for Beautiful Mind.  Now I’m a pretty big Ron Howard fan.  The guy knows how to direct, but this is nowhere near his best movie!  Not even close!  Where was Oscar when he deserved it back in ’95?  Anyway, in my book, it wasn’t even close in 2001 – Fellowship deserved the trophy.  I had never read Tolkien’s books and I was very underwhelmed by the trailers, so I was blown away by the Fellowship adventure.  Acting, photography, effects, amazing locations, clear-cut good v. evil… what more could you want?  A movie’s gotta be pretty good if it can make me care about hobbits.  This one did.  

Favorite scene:  When the fellowship stumbles out of the orc-infested caves, stunned by the loss of Gandalf.  The slo-mo sadness really caught me by surprise, and earned my respect.  I was hooked on LOTR!    

2002

Winner:  Chicago

Should’ve won:  The Two Towers

In case you think it’s lame to award LOTR two years in a row, a great honorable mention and my other favorite movie of 2002 is About a Boy.  But how ‘bout that epic storytelling that is Two Towers!  Movies haven’t been this adventurous and cool since I was a kid!  It’s awesome for all the same reasons Fellowship is awesome.  Chicago over this?  Are you kidding me?  

Favorite scene:  Near the end, when Gandalf sweeps down the mountain with his posse, bringing nick-of-time help to our weary warrior friends.   

2003

Winner:  Return of the King

Should’ve won:  Return of the King

It’s about time!  I was beginning to think the Academy had a serious case of hobbiphobia!  The thing is, while this pic totally deserved the prize, there were two other best pic noms that year that could’ve been winners most other years:  Master and Commander and Seabiscuit, both tremendous flicks!  But it was good to finally see the LOTR trilogy rewarded.  In a sense, it is one giant movie anyway.  Kudos, Pete.  I’ll try not to be mad at you for not directing The Hobbit.    

Favorite scene:  Hard to say, but maybe when Sam summons his inner-Rudy and hustles Frodo up the hill.

2004

Winner:  Million Dollar Baby

Should’ve won:  Hotel Rwanda

I’m not saying the best picture winner every year has to be a heavy, depressing drama.  But what I think of as best picture is something that seriously grabs you in some way and sticks with you long after you leave the theatre.  In 2004, that movie was Hotel Rwanda over Million Dollar Baby.  The thing is, Baby was almost a great movie.  Hillary Swank is great, as is Eastwood and Morgan Freeman (big surprise).  Unfortunately, the movie goes way off the deep end in the third act (I won’t ruin it if you want to check it out yourself) and becomes about something completely different.  Rwanda on the other hand is consistent throughout in tone.  Don Cheadle does an excellent job pulling the audience along on an exhausting, heartbreaking journey.  

Favorite scene:  Hard to beat the last reunion scene!  

2005

Winner:  Crash

Should’ve won:  Cinderella Man

In my book, Cinderella Man is probably Ron Howard’s best movie.  Before its release, I recall hearing some younger folk in the theatre chuckle over the Cinderella part of the title at the end of the trailer.  Maybe that was why so many people skipped this gem.  This is a rare, unabashedly wholesome, truly American movie.  As the title character, Russell Crowe is fantastic as usual.  The period details and atmosphere are exquisite.  The true story, while pretty straightforward, is still captivating and emotional.  You’re probably missing a heartbeat if you don’t get revved by Cinderella Man!  It was hands down the best picture of 2005.

Favorite scene:  I can’t choose just one, but one possibility is when Crowe shows up, hat in hand, to beg for money from the boxing bigwigs.    

2006

Winner:  The Departed

Should’ve won:  Letters from Iwo Jima

I can admit it when I’m wrong about something and I was definitely wrong about Letters from Iwo Jima.  See, I pre-judged the movie when I first read that it was being shot as a sort of companion piece to go with Flags of Our Fathers.  I rolled my eyes because I thought it sounded like a hippie, liberal, try-to-understand-the-poor-misunderstood-enemy who bombed Pearl Harbor to smithereens political statement.  Sorry I underestimated you, Clint (Eastwood).  As it turned out, Letters was poignant, scary, and emotional in ways that Flags didn’t come close to.  At the same time, the movie doesn’t try to justify the Japanese position in WWII.  I was glad to see it get nominated and it definitely deserved to win.    

Favorite scene:  The main character’s final scene.  I can’t be more descriptive without giving too much away.  

Anyway, that’s what I think.  Please feel free to post your own opinions!